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Petty or Professional. Choose One.
I bring this topic up because a recent experience of mine mirrors what happens all the time in the workplace. Let me explain.
I was reading Liz Strauss’ “Successful Blog” and, being me, couldn’t resist commenting.
What happened at that point (and could still be happening, for all I know) is that people quickly divided up sides, decided who was right / who they liked and who was wrong / who they didn’t like. All triggered by an opinion that they didn’t agree with about a topic that is (understandably) sensitive for them.
Perhaps you’ve seen this same situation in the meatspace workplace. Co-workers decide who they like and don’t like and act accordingly.
This is becoming more and more prevalent in the workplace, particularly among younger workers. The result? The work (and perhaps some careers) suffer.
Today, I want to talk a little bit about how to overcome that instinct and “act professionally”.
STAGE 1: UNDERSTAND EVERYONE THINKS DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU
In my situation, I expressed an opinion that people disagreed with. Because it was a sensitive issue, they went on the attack and I became “Judgemental” (itself a judgement - ironic, no?) and a generally bad person.
Especially in the workplace, you’ve got to understand that everyone there thinks differently than you on some topic. And that’s okay.
It’s okay because that’s something we call “diversity of opinion”. And, trust me, it is a good thing that the entire world doesn’t think like me. Or you.
Frequently, however, if someone differs from me on a sensitive topic, the natural reaction is for me to (mentally) label them as a “Bad Person”, decide that I don’t want to work with them, and they can’t sit at my lunch table (”This table is just for the cool kids. Why dontcha try the Mechanical Engineer table? They’re all dorks, too.”)
The trick is to overcome that instinct and “play nice”.
STAGE 2: UNDERSTAND YOU DO NOT NEED TO LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH
Let’s be honest here. I know that, at least in the back of your mind, you’re still going to not like that person. That’s fine. Who knows what they think about you, after all?
The great thing is that you don’t need to like people that you work with. Yes, it makes work a lot better and yes, it would be great if you were surrounded with carbon-copies (sorry - too old school - how about “clones”?) of your best friend.
However, if that were the case, we wouldn’t call it “work”.
So, think about it this way: The Boss Man isn’t going to understand why we keep sniping at each other instead of getting real work done, meaning that I may hurt or kill my own career because I don’t like someone I work with. Is it worth being fired over?
Also, in the worst of cases, your own visible dislike for someone (which is usually mutual) could inspire them to do bad things to you. Spread rumors. Lie to the boss. Encourage others to not work with you. It can get pretty ugly.
STAGE 3 - PRETEND THAT YOU’RE FRANCE
By this I mean, of course, raise the white flag to the person (or people) you don’t like. Reach a truce in the workplace. Don’t worry - outside the office, you can still throw snowballs or bricks or whatever at each other.
Decide that you both like your jobs (at least, more than not working) and only come in contact with one another when you have to. Talk only about work and keep your mouth shut when you feel the urge to snipe at or about him.
This is what we call “professionalism”. Concentrating on the work and saving the social stuff for after work. Deciding that we can respect everyone else at work at least as a human being and treat them civilly.
The bottom line is this: each of us must make the choice every stinking day between being petty OR being professional. You can’t do both.
And you’ll be amazed at how smoothly work goes when you’re not so worried about torpedoing Freddy’s career, though I heard he deserves it…
Enjoy the Search!
-Dan
Photo by: chewywong
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January 19th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
Dan,
I can’t believe this post that tells a biased story and speaks of professionalism. You got a fair share and had a chance to be heard at my blog. To what purpose do you come back here and say negative things?
I’m confused by your definition of professionalism.
I believe you owe me an apology. I’ve done nothing to deserve these innuendos. Please remove any reference to me and blog from this post.
I write this second comment in case the interruption that occurred while I was making the first was an error at this end.
Liz Strauss
January 20th, 2007 at 9:09 am
While I disagree about the biased story part (I did link to the original discussion for everyone to see, after all…), I will admit that, upon rereading, it seems somewhat ironic.
That is, most people define professionalism as not saying anything that could stir up a hornet’s nest. While above, I’ve defined it more as “getting along with your co-workers regardless of their dunderheaded opinions”.
For instance, perhaps someone has a different, though strongly held, opinion about parenthood…
In any case, this leads me to a topic that will probably develop into another post: accountability. Whether or not this blog post develops, well all need to remember that professionals, including (perhaps especially) me, are accountable for their words, thoughts, and actions.
I will step to the plate here and be accountable for my words. My words on Liz’s Blog as well as early in this post were probably intemperate.
Let this be a lesson to all of us that we should think before we type, whether it be an e-mail, a blog comment, or a blog post.
I will let this post and my comments all stand as an example of a bad example in this area. I promise to do better.
And I can’t really erase things I’ve written, can I? It smacks of censorship. And I have a physical reaction to those who wish to censor ideas, thoughts, and words (both good and bad) that they disagree with.
In the end, I think the logical, corporate thing to do here to settle things is for us all to blame Chris Cree for bringing up such an inflammatory subject.
Dan
(Just kidding, Chris! Go back to your cats.)
January 20th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Dear Dan,
Thank you for responding to my comment. I appreicate the time it took and that you are the kind of person to do that.
I think, if you get to know me, you would find that I celebrate diversity of thinking and that I don’t have room for we/they thought or behavior.
I’m a highly curious, fiercely independent thinker. Who asks questions to find out how others form their thoughts. I look to meet with people in the core of an issue where we might agree, not on the fringes where we might differ. In any case, I value independent thinkers because I learn from them.
I understand different. I’m usually the one who’s most different in most groups. I see the elephant in the room when everyone else is painting the ceiling. It’s often an uncomfortable place to be in. I don’t want other people to feel that way.
I wouldn’t dream of asking you to go against your principles. I write for a living. I, like you, believe in freedom of speech and the responsibilities that go with it.
Thanks again for responding to my comment.
Liz