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Why Hard-Core Environmentalists Can’t Get That Promotion
In honor of Earth Day, I thought I’d take on the task of getting Hard-Core Environmentalists a promotion…
Have you ever wondered why you, the Hard-Core Environmentalist, can’t get a promotion?
I know it’s a popular answer, but there really isn’t a “Hemp Ceiling” keeping you out of power positions in your company.
Nor is it because he’s embarrassed by your active demonstrating (unless, of course, it’s in front of his building!)
No, it’s something else entirely that he feels a little uncomfortable bringing up with you.
But the good news is that, since he won’t tell you about it, I’m here to help all of you Hard-Core Environmentalist-types get ahead so that you can change the world.
SO, WHAT IS THE BOSS NOT TELLING YOU?
Over at the National Business Research Institute blog, they have listed the 10 Employee Behaviors Bosses Hate Most.
One of those behaviors is something that seems to be unique to Hard Core Environmentalists.
Unfortunately, I have personal experience with that particular trait.
This is my story.
MY LIFE AMONG THE GRANOLA-EATERS
Once upon a time, I worked for Apple Computer. One of the interesting things about Apple was the variety of different kinds of people that worked there since Apple had a reputation as welcoming all sorts of misfits.
In particular, a lot of crunchy, Birkenstock, hemp-clothed, “save the world” environmental types worked there. Unfortunately, some of them were rather serious about their brand of environmentalism.
Why do I say “unfortunately”? Because the true “Lifetime Greenpeace Member”, know your “carbon footprint” types did several things to personally contribute to the cause:
- Ride a Bike Everywhere - Which, in general, isn’t too bad. Heck - they were in good shape! On the other hand, in Texas, they also got rather hot and sweaty.
- Not Waste Water - Again, the principle is good. It’s just that they would rarely, if ever, take a shower.
- Live “Naturally” - That is, they tried to live without artificial chemical anything. That’s good when you’re eating. It’s bad when you won’t use deodorant.
I think you’re getting the picture here.
These folks just plain smelled bad.
I don’t mean a, “(sniff, sniff) Hmmm…what could that faintly odd odor be?” bad.
I mean, “Oh, Dear Lord! There’s a dead body nearby!” bad.
HOW TO KNOW IF THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM
At Apple, I could be sitting at my cube doing work when, all of a sudden, a vile smell overtook me from nowhere. But then, it would disappear just as quickly as it had come.
It was all rather shocking and disconcerting. As if there was a “Vile-O-Matic” valve next to me that randomly opened and closed.
Of course, what had really happened was that a tree hugger had just passed by, leaving a trail of smell so bad that you could see it - sort of like Pigpen.
And if you’ve ever been hit by a wall of smell out of nowhere, you know what the normal reaction to it is: coughing, choking, rapid pinched-faced head swiveling to get away from it.
If you see this sort of reaction after you pass through an area, you’ve got a problem that’s going to keep you from ever getting a better position at your company. And it’s time to fix that problem.
HOW TO FIX YOUR PROMOTION PROBLEM WITHOUT GIVING UP YOUR IDEALS
You may have noticed that I’m not particularly in sync with the environmental crowd. However, I understand that you have some strongly held beliefs and that’s fine with me.
Let’s figure out together how we can solve the problem.
- Shower Like a German - When I spent time in Germany years ago, they were very concerned about environmental impact (I think it was the acid rain from East Germany….) However, they managed to take a shower.
To shower like a German, get one of those “shower head on a hose” things (the low-flow version, of course). To take a shower, turn on the water just long enough to get yourself wet. Then turn it off.
Use your Official Natural, Bio-Degradable, Zero-Environmental-Impact Soap of the Sierra Club to lather up and get off the crust. Then, turn on the water just long enough to wash it off.
Total water usage? Maybe 2 gallons.
- Timing Is Everything - Take your quick, low-impact shower after you’ve biked the 14 miles to work. This is assuming your work facility has a shower somewhere. If not, join the health club next door (or just ask if you can use their shower in the mornings).
Whatever - just make sure you find a nearby shower.
- Natural Smell Good - You don’t have to use Aluminum Whatever-icate in order to keep yourself from smelling bad. There are a lot of options for being both natural and smell-free.
Now you can continue your upward trajectory in your company and pave the way for a brighter tomorrow. Or, if you’re concerned about the thinning of the ozone layer, a dimmer tomorrow.
Enjoy the Search!
Dan
—–
Daniel R. Sweet
Chief Cook-And-Bottle-Washer / Sr. Recruiter
FRACAT.com - Free Resume and Career Toolbox
LinkedIn Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielrsweet
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