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You Wanna Work With a Recruiter? Fight the Lazy!
Confession time: I’m naturally lazy. Perhaps this is the state of all mankind, but I know for sure it is the State of Dan.
The odd thing about me (as if there was only one odd thing) is that I will go to great lengths to be able to remain lazy.
For instance, I’m working on a new design for FRACAT that’s 90% complete. The reason that I’m doing this is that it makes it a lot easier for me to add features and content. I don’t have to break out my HTML coding app to rewrite content pages or add links, for instance.
I’ve put a lot of work into that 90%. The last 10% is being sabatoged by my laziness. But I promise it’ll be here soon!
While I have developed many rules, inventions, and penalties to deal with my own laziness, it turns out that my eldest daughter has inherited “the lazy”.
And it seems like she’s not the only one. I have interactions with lazy workers all day long. And lazy candidates.
Are you a lazy candidate? Either get off my phone or Fight the Lazy!
IS THERE A LAZY WORKERS UNION?
Whenever I talk to most workers (as well as some candidates) in the course of my day, I could swear that they are all members of the Lazy Worker’s Union Local #101. But can you imagine the difficulty of organizing these workers?
Labor Union Official: “Lazy Workers of the world, Unite!”
Lazy Worker: “Geez, I dunno. That sounds like hard work…”
LUO: “But together we can make your work conditions better!”
LW: “Yeah - I’m not really that into work. I’ll probably quit tomorrow.”
LUO: “Would you like to earn more money doing the same job you’re doing now?”
LW: “That sounds nice, but I’m not actually doing my job right now. I’m hiding from the boss…”
LUO: “Tell you what - just sign this petition and I’ll take care of your boss for you.”
LW: “I don’t have a pen on me. And the nearest one is back at my desk. I’ll get back with you later.”
It’s that type of “service” that I receive everywhere I go. The guy at the fast food counter is actually too lazy to anything when I approach the counter. He just stands behind the cash register and stares at me with his eyebrows raised.
Yes, we all know why I’m there, but a simple, polite greeting of some sort would be nice. Maybe even a, “Hey, you! What do you want and make it snappy?!” would be better…
As I mentioned before, my eldest daughter will try to shortcut her chores, do as little work as possible, or generally avoid responsibility. Whenever I see that laziness raising it’s ugly head in her, I tell her, “Fight the Lazy!”
ARE YOU A LAZY CANDIDATE?
As a headhunter, I deal with lazy candidates all the time. Because it just chaps my hide to deal with them, I’ve created this handy dandy guide to determine whether you’re a lazy candidate or not:
- Too Lazy To Send Me a Resume - They really want a new job, but can’t see to work up the effort to e-mail a stinking resume.
- Too Lazy To Call Me Back - I tell every single one of my candidates to call me after an interview. Apparently, most of them are drained from the interview process and are just too weak to lift the cellphone….
- Too Lazy To Make It to the Interview - I’ve heard a wide variety of creative excuses as to why a candidate couldn’t make it to the interview. Too bad all of their energy went into the excuse and not just getting in their car and driving…
- Too Lazy To Use a Map - I just love the “lost candidate” calls. No, really. These days, you can even have a map, complete with turn-by-turn directions, created while you’re being lazy at home on your computer. Then print it out. Unless you’re too lazy to read, this is all you need. How hard is that?!
- Too Lazy To Call The Employer Back - For those candidates that actually do make it to the interview, employers sometimes have follow-up questions for my candidates. So, I tell them to call back the employer. You’d be amazed at the number of candidates that I have to ride like Secretariat in the final stretch just to get them to do this.
- Too Lazy To Confront Their Boss - While the candidates are unhappy where they are, when it comes time to confront the boss, they decide they didn’t really want to leave that badly. About all that interview stuff and the great offer? Nevermind…
- Too Lazy To Confront the Other Boss - I will never cease to be amazed at the number of candidates who get well into the new job search and still haven’t told their spouse about it. Of course, this could be fear and not just laziness. Either way, a ton of candidates pull out of the process after finally telling their spouse.
- Too Lazy To Leave Their Job - About the time that a great offer comes in from a new employer and after the full battery of interviews, resumes, and background checks, many candidates start thinking about all the things that they like about their current job. It’s just easier to stay, so nevermind.
If you find that you’ve done these things in the past year, please don’t call me. I don’t want to talk with you.
In fact, no recruiter wants to talk to you, no matter what your skillset. We’ve all got enough problems without having to fight your lazy, too!
And if you have done these things, I’ve got one thing to say to you: “Fight the Lazy!”
Dan
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Daniel R. Sweet
Chief Cook-And-Bottle-Washer / Technical Recruiter
FRACAT.com - Free Resume and Career Toolbox
LinkedIn Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielrsweet
Call me on Jaxtr: http://www.jaxtr.com/fracat
Photo by: jessiebarber
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